This is a transcript of one of the videos in the plain language training course Writing well at work. There are references to slides and visual material that are only available by viewing the video.
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The next technique to use when you’re writing is to choose to write with verbs rather than with nouns.
Write with action words, not thing words
Now you’ll remember the difference between a verb and a noun. The verb is the action or doing word, and the noun is the thing word. It describes an object or something like that.
We want to write with verbs, because verbs are generally shorter. And also because they emphasise action.
So when I’m writing, I’m never going to write.
The negotiators are in agreement.
An agreement’s a thing. I can give it to you. No, I’m going to write,
The negotiators agreed.
I’m not going to say that we will be conducting an investigation. No, no, we will investigate. Look how much longer that first sentence is. And what’s the word conducting doing there? What? Am I in front of an orchestra or something like that? No, no, we will investigate. Write with the verb, not the noun.
I won’t write that the committee has formed a conclusion. No, the committee concluded.
I’m not going to write timely cultivation, achieve the eradication of Patterson’s curse. Now I’ll write timely cultivation eradicated Patterson’s curse. If only that was true.
I want to write with the verb the action, doing word rather with the noun or thing word.
I won’t make a recommendation, I’ll recommend.
I won’t formulate an argument. I’ll argue.
I won’t raise an objection. I’ll object.
I won’t arrive at a conclusion. I’ll conclude.
I won’t perform an analysis. I’ll analyse.
I won’t develop a plan. I’ll plan. and it’s a bit of a tricky one.
I won’t exercise conformity. I’ll conform.
I won’t undertake a development. I’ll develop.
I won’t find a solution. I’ll solve.
I won’t make a decision. I’ll decide.
I have not taught you any new words. I’m pretty sure you know all those words. It’s just a matter of choosing to write using the verb form rather than the noun form.
Now often we can recognise the noun form because the word ends in ION or MENT, that’s just a way to help you pick up the noun form.
Writing with verbs can transform your writing
Of the five techniques I talk about in this course, I think this one has the most potential to set your writing apart from other people’s writing. You see so much writing in organisations is in this noun form. If you do this one thing and choose to write using the verb rather than noun, that will start to set you apart from other writers. And more than that, it might make your documents more effective and more persuasive because you are using action doing words.
Now, if I had my way, there’s a word there that I would love to ban. It’s the word undertake. It’s a pretty ugly word. It’s 3 syllables long. It’s only one letter different from the undertaker. Nobody likes that, and we only ever use it because we want to pair it up with a noun form. So we need some all purpose, all singing, all dancing verb to throw in there. Oh, let’s just throw in, undertake.
Now, it’s unlikely I’m ever going to be able to ban that word. But please as you are reviewing your work, just do a quick control F find see if you’ve used the word undertake. If you have, you’ve likely done that because you wanted to combine it with a noun form. Have a look at that sentence. See if you can revise it and rewrite it using the verb form.
Now, often in this course at this point, I’d like to have a bit of a fun and have a quick game of pretend, and I’m going to pretend that next week you get a new job and this time they actually want you to write like a bureaucrat. Well, how could you do it?
Well, what you do is you start with a fairly simple idea.
Something like familiarity breeds contempt, and then you say, hang on.
As a bureaucrat, we prefer to write in a passive voice rather than the active, so maybe it might be better written as contempt is bred by familiarity.
But as a bureaucrat, I like to write with nouns rather than verbs. So perhaps it might be the breeding of contempt. I will need something else there to finish the sentence.
But the breeding of is a noun form. Maybe it’s the breeding of contempt is accomplished by a familiarity.
Hmm, but another verb there accomplished. What’s the noun form of accomplished – accomplishment. OK, so how about I write accomplishment of the breeding of contempt? We’ll still need another word there. For that to make sense, how about accomplishment of the breeding of contempt is achieved by familiarity sounding pretty good, but just a little bit too definite for a true bureaucrat?
So how about accomplishment of the breeding of contempt is currently in the process of being achieved by familiarity?
Yeah, you smile because you’ve seen things written that way. You’ve seen really simple ideas dressed up in this way and made far more complex. Just to be clear, this is an anti example. Don’t write this way.
Avoid noun strings
Now, while we are talking about nouns and verbs, it’s also good if you can avoid noun strings. A noun string is where I’ve got all these nouns bumped against each other, and there are no verbs there.
Now I know the little bit of thought you can understand what I’ve got on the screen there. Underground mine worker safety protection procedures. But how much easier is it to see the meaning when I write it this way that these are procedures to protect the safety of workers in underground mines. The meaning just falls out. And I know it’s cost you a few more words this time. But I think it’s worthwhile because we’ve actually enhanced the men.
Here’s another example. Instead of draft laboratory animal rights protection regulations, how about we you write this as draught regulations to protect the rights of laboratory animals. I’m going to take the noun protection, turn it into the verb protect. And in doing that, in this case, I’ve been able to see that these are draft regulations rather than draft laboratory animals. Yeah, well, that’s a good thing too.
So when we write, we do want to avoid those long strings of nouns and use functional descriptions with verbs.
OK, time for you to have an go at rewriting some more sentences. You’ll find them in the unit notes there. And this time I’d like you to have a go at rewriting using those 3 techniques that we’ve talked about so far. Simple, familiar words. The active voice and let’s rewrite using verbs rather than nouns.
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