This is a transcript of one of the videos in the plain language training course Writing well at work. There are references to slides and visual material that are only available by viewing the video.
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Write as though the reader is with you in the room
Well, the 5th and final technique I’d like to talk about is using conversational style. When we write, it’s good to write as though that person is physically with you in the room. We’re never going to write to a crowd. We always write to a person. Documents are read one person at a time.
So that means as I write, there’s nothing wrong with using these personal pronouns. We, you, I – those sorts of personal pronouns can be really helpful when I’m writing in a conversational style. Of course, I need to be careful to clarify where the communication is coming from. I don’t want people to be confused about me personally and the organisation I’m writing for. But once I’ve established that clarity, there’s no problem in using some of these personal pronouns.
Of course, when we write, we do need to write in a respectful way, so conversational style is not about writing in a sloppy or slang way. It is about writing as though you would speak to somebody face to face, and we need to do that in a respectful way.
Conversations, and we consider a document as a conversation, we also need to consider these conversations happen in the context of relationship. So do think about the nature of the relationship between you and your reader and think about how you would like that relationship to progress.
That might mean that the tone we use might be different for different types of documents, even though we’re still using the conversational style. So I guess what I’ve got in mind here is, if I was writing a compliance letter and somebody had done the wrong thing and I needed to correct them, I could use a conversational style. I might say things like ‘you have done the wrong thing, we are going to fine you’. So it’s a conversational style, but it’s a fairly tough tone. It’s a tough conversation I’m having. In a different matter, if somebody’s just asking for information, well, the the tone will be a a bit gentler. I can still use that conversational style.
A document can be more about feeling than content
I have a quote on the screen now from Barton Swain. Sometimes what you want is feeling rather than meaning, warmth rather than content, and that takes verbiage. So that is true. Sometimes, what we’re trying to do in the document, what we’re trying to do with the relationship, is not so much about passing on content to them, but it is about doing something with the relationship. Wanting them to react in a particular way. So the goal of our document in this case is not to deliver information, but to do something with the relationship, and sometimes that will require a few more words. And I know that’s backtracking a little bit on some of the things I’ve said previously in the course, but we always want to keep in mind the purpose of the document.
Examples of writing in a conversational style
I have on the screen there one of the paragraphs from the indoor air fact sheet that we looked at in the previous unit, rewriting that in a conversational style. It may look something like this.
Whether or not your health will be affected by indoor pollution depends on your individual sensitivity to pollutants, your age, and any medical conditions you already have. Consult your doctor if you feel unwell.
I want to write directly to the person I want to speak directly to them, have that conversation with them.
Here’s another paragraph from that indoor air fact sheet, and I’ve had to go at rewriting it using a more conversational style. So I start off by saying
if you feel you have been affected by indoor air pollution, you should consult your doctor. Just going down a little bit further, simply going outside may help you feel better.
So again, I want to speak with the person. I want to have that conversation with them as I would in a face to face conversation.
Here’s a few more examples.
Instead of writing, applicants must send us. Why don’t we say you must send us?
Instead of saying advice is available from over there somewhere, why don’t we say you can get advice from
Instead of writing your application will be considered. Why don’t we write We will consider your application. Have that conversation with people.
And here’s a slightly longer example.
This return form must be signed by the licence holder, even if help is received in the completion of the form, the licence holder must sign it and lodge it with this office. Once the return has been assessed, the licence holder will be sent a notice of assessment staff at the department are available for consultation should further explanation be necessary.
Well, yes, all the information is there and it communicates the ideas, but we could rewrite it in a more conversational style. We might write it like this
If you are the licence holder, you must sign this form even if you get help from someone else to complete. The department will send you a notice of assessment after we assess your form, call our staff if you need any help completing the form.
All the information there is still the same. It’s still an official way of communicating, but it is done in a more conversational and friendly way.
Well, that concludes my 5 plain language techniques.
Let me ask you, is there anything there that’s too difficult? Probably not.
Is there anything there that’s inappropriate? Again, I don’t think so
I reckon if we implement these 5 plain language techniques in all our writing, we are well on the way to making it easy for most people to read and understand and extract meaning.
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