This is a transcript of one of the videos in the plain language training course Writing well at work. There are references to slides and visual material that are only available by viewing the video.
You can access the full web based course at writertraining.online.
Information about face to face courses is at thinkwrite.com.au
Use ‘if/then’
While we’re talking about word choice, I’d like to make some comment about conditional statements. I’m going to suggest that the if/then structure is the best way of constructing a condition.
Now I know you could write a condition like this ‘where the tenant fails to pay their rent, something happens’. I know you could also write ‘should the tenant fail to pay their rent, something happens. But I don’t think that’s the best way of doing it.
I think using the if/then structure is superior. My thinking is this: these two words, where and should, have alternative meanings.
Where? This is where I’m standing.
Should. Yeah, I should lose some weight.
And so I have to understand the meaning of the word from the context of the sentence, but I really can’t understand what the sentence is all about until I understand all the words in that sentence. The whole thing becomes complex, and unnecessarily complex. Because if I wanted to talk about a condition, the if/then structure is clean and simple.
And I think this has really got to make it difficult if some of your readers have English as a second language. Here I’ve got these two words where and should. They look and sound identical, but they mean different things depending on how I use them. That’s got to make it difficult for some readers.
Have a look at this sentence here.
Should managers have concerns relating to the conduct of operators they should raise it with the on site representative in the first instance.
That sentence is used the word should twice and it means two different things each time I come across it. That’s not helpful.
Also consider these two phrases.
Should the data be replaced by, and
the data should be replaced by.
They look very similar, but they mean very different things. If I have a touch of dyslexia that could trip me up, or even if I’m just reading fast, or if I’m tired.
And I’ve got no idea what anybody would write ‘in the event’. It just means if. Why would you use three words when one will do?
Look, you lose nothing if you go to this structure. You could write ‘where the vehicle has significant structural damage, it must be written off’. But use the if/then structure. If the vehicle has significant structural damage, then it must be written off. You’ve lost nothing in meaning. In fact, I’d argue you’ve gained a bit of clarity.
Likewise, ‘should you find a hole, fill it’. No, ‘if you find a hole, then fill it’. That works just fine.
And you know there are times when you can omit the word ‘then’ and just replace it with a comma, and often times that will work just fine.
Think about where to place ‘if’
Now, if you are writing conditions, also think about where you place the word ‘if’.
Here’s a simple example. I could write ‘If it is raining then take an umbrella’ or ‘Take an umbrella if it is raining’. Now, in this case, I’m going to prefer to write the sentence ‘if it is raining then take an umbrella’. And my thinking is – I just want to be kind to my reader. I’ll read ‘if it is raining’, have a quick look out the window. No, it’s not raining. I don’t need to read the rest of that. It’s not relevant to me. And I’ve saved my readers some time. And I know in a really simple example like this, it hardly makes any difference at all. But think about some of the more complex conditions that you’re involved in writing and think about where you put the word ‘if’.
It’s not always at the beginning, though. It would be better to write a contract is void if blah blah and blah rather than splitting it up if blah blah blah then the contract is void.
So give some thought to where you place the word ‘if’.
Have you ever seen a sentence like this? My guess is you have. They’re often used at the end of a letter or something like that. ‘Should you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to contact me’.
So let me have a bit of a guess at how a poor a reader might encounter this. Should you have any questions? Well. I’m not sure, should I have some questions? What sort of other questions do people have? I don’t know. Oh, that’s a bit confusing. I’ll read on. Please don’t. Ah, that’s a difficult word. I don’t know that one. I’ll read on. Please don’t contact me. Yeah, that’s a possible way a poor reader might encounter a sentence like that.
But actually, it’s not even what you want to say. Often we use a sentence like this to conclude a letter. But if you’ve written a letter about a significant matter, the recipient might be a bit concerned about this. They might be worrying about the content – that might be keeping them up at night. 3:00 in the morning they may get up and have another read of your letter to just to clarify their mind again, and then they see at the bottom this statement, ‘should you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to contact me’. They see your mobile phone number there. On the phone straight away. That’s not what you want to happen. So don’t say it.
So I think it would be better in this case to write a sentence like ‘If you have any questions, please contact me.’
Access the complete course at writertraining.online